Learning To Cope With Controlling Parent Behavior

controlling parents

Many children want to know what they can do for controlling their parents. When controlling parents feel that their child is acting out, they generally seek a solution and they often don’t like to admit that they need help. If you are a controlling parent who wants some help controlling your temper, you probably don’t feel like talking. You may even think that controlling behavior is normal since you were the one who raised your child. Let’s look at some things you can do to help change this pattern of controlling behavior in your parenting children.

When controlling parents punish their children, they set up a psychological problem. They punish their child because it helps them to feel that they are in control. Their child learns through negative reinforcement that certain behaviors will result in punishment. For example, when your child hits you or throws a rock at you, he gets the message that the next time he behaves in this way, he will get caught and punished. That’s a powerful psychological incentive.

Controlling Parents

Parent Behavior

The psychological problems controlling parents cause to their children extend into their adulthood. Most controlling parents limit their parenting time to a handful of hours a week, during which time they insist that their child behave. This type of extremely limited parenting severely limits the teen years. In fact, it prevents teens from developing the social skills and confidence needed to handle 21st-century obstacles. They don’t learn how to have empathy or agree with others, and they quickly become frustrated when their parents won’t give them more freedom or flexibility.

When controlling parents get control of their children, they also reduce their children’s self-esteem. This happens because they set very high standards and fail to meet those standards. When they fail, they are humiliated. And so, they do not enjoy spending time with their children. As a result, their kids lack the happiness and the social skills necessary to develop successful careers and live healthy, satisfying lives.

Self-esteem issues arise when controlling parents withdraw love from their children. One of the most common ways that this happens is through emotional withdrawal. Controlling parents feel that they must control every aspect of their children’s lives: where they go to school, what they watch on television, what they eat, and how they live their lives. All things are dictated by what they consider right. When they love their children enough to want to give them all of the love and attention they want, they experience a powerful sense of self-love, leading to healthy psychological control.

Learn To Cope-Up 

Parent Behavior

However, external controlling parenting also has its problems. It can lead to problems like school dropout rates, lower test scores, higher alcohol, and drug use, and lower self-esteem. Externally controlling parents are more likely to hurt their children in various ways, such as physically, emotionally, or sexually. Children are also generally deprived of their parental guidance, and this inhibits their development of self-direction and responsibility.

The difference between emotionally withdrawn children and psychologically restrained children is the kind of control they exercise. In emotionally drained situations, controlling parents withdraw love from their children by emotionally stripping them of control. Controlling parents who exhibit dysfunctional behavior also deprive their children of psychological control. These children are not receiving the love, support, and resources they need to make successful, healthy decisions. And when these children fail to thrive, controlling parents may use various manipulative tactics to ensure they continue behaving the way they do.

Final Words 

Parents can overcome controlling parenting. If you are experiencing some of the problems controlling parents cause, it may be helpful to work on developing healthy, emotionally secure relationships with your child. When you help your child to make wise choices, you show them that you know what is best for them. You become their role model, and they begin to value you as their parent, instead of feeling guilty for making decisions you didn’t choose for them. Working with your child’s other parents can also help you learn how to deal with controlling parenting because the problems affecting your child usually stem from controlling parenting issues in the home.

Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter